Sell my souL

Mame's Blog



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Urm, I actually don't have much to say today, even though I did many things and had lots of fun. Yet, I just don't really want to write them down, I suppose it's caused by the immense amount of homework waiting for me...

Looking back at my entries I seemed so care-free, and urm, retarded. Definitely, seemed that nothing is going to bring my world down. My world even seemed so fake and plastic. Yet, I really did feel very happy and content, I suppose it is because now i don't feel the same as I did before, hence labeling my previous character as fake. After reading friends' blog entries, I feel mine are rather...boring and not very intelligent, even too exaggerated. I am unsure why I have arrived at this point of view; I only know I am not very content. However, I am quite sure tomorrow when I read this entry it won't satisfy me either. I am not even sure what the heck I am rambling about...

[uh, if I were you, i wouldn't read this stupid entry. It's just rambling about things i don't even know...I need a break]
These days it seems like I no longer have any worldly views or beliefs, all I want is sleep. I also believe that I have actually became "dumb" or "dumber" if that's a word. My goal is to ultimately blame it on the lack of sleep, yet these days I just have nothing to say. Things just don't trigger any sense of emotion or thought in me anymore. It is like I am turning into a robot, not that it is a horrible thing, just a change that I am starting to realize. I also have noticed that I am a lot less tolerant of people around me, almost forgetting that everyone has their reasons and pain. I don't know what I am going through, yet I am definitely sure it is caused by the busy schedule I follow everyday. I no longer let my brain wonder or day dream, but bind it to the heavy course load and daily routines. I know that this is not what I want with my life, yet it just slowly swallowed me in...I think I will stop writing now, don't even know what is the point I am trying to make...I think finishing the hw due tomorrow will definitely help with my dry words. I am not who I used to be, that is all I know. Nothing good or bad, just changed.

sounds like I am just way too stressed out, too busy, too much like an adult. What happened to the Peter Pan inside of me?
| 13:43 | - | comments(2) | trackbacks(0) |
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posted by - | 2008/03/18 6:26 PM |
posted by - | 2008/03/15 3:47 PM |
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